Every morning when i wake up i am reminded of our beloved Prophet (PBUH). Every morning a noisy silence awakens me and i hear voices, mumblings..and sometime i hear a clear tacit voice asking me to write. Yes, i hear "write"!! My heart grows heavy and story of Prophet (PBUH) comes through my mind. How Archangel Gabriel came to Him and commanded Him to read and He said I cannot, and Archangel enjoined repeatedly to read. Finally divine orders prevailed and He read and thus began all travails. This story i heard in my childhood always captivates me and everytime i am reminded of the beauty of it. How a Man with no formal education and literacy and just by virtue of contemplation and divine selection went on to read and comprehend a treasure trove of wisdom which was elusive (until then) to even wisest of mankind. And, he read no ordinary words, it created a flutter then and it continues to create!!
The whole story and my dillemma has created a sense of existential crisis, A sense of detachment, a feeling of loss surrounds me. Every morning i feel delusional. I feel like waking from a dream and entering another dream, a dream more controlled by me and thus more painful. I feel like standing in a hall with some chambers in it, whenever i enter a chamber and try to get myself out i end up in the same chamber and whenevr i try to move out through last chamber i again end up in the same big hall with same number of chambers in it and same question haunts me. No matter how much i be oblivious i have to enter a chamber to finally forsake the place or i'll have to just wait..wait for my Theseus...come slay me!! redeem me!!
Every dream i enter gives me a grain of sand, i see it every time i wake up and see it multiplying..1..2..6....handfull....buried under the debris trying to escape and everytime the silence screams to write and screaming reaches a crescendo just like the weight of sand reaches a crushing point, a point where the weight is unbearable and suffocating....... during my sufferings the mother of all questions strucked to me... WHY??? the most important question ever devised and ever asked my mankind!! Question that defines humans... question that incurs the wrath of higher beings mostly, and thus i began to ponder why anyone writes??? To communicate, to share, to be felt or more importantly to be understood. To let Minotaur run away from the labyrinthine heart, to wreak havoc on the madness of men and to find a dagger for realizing immortality for oneself.
And thus today i start my journey of writing, i start my way of exhibiting madness and thus creating a sense of madness in anyone who reads it and letting everyone to find some sanity inones madness and vice versa.
Amen. Happy Mad Mumbling!!
The whole story and my dillemma has created a sense of existential crisis, A sense of detachment, a feeling of loss surrounds me. Every morning i feel delusional. I feel like waking from a dream and entering another dream, a dream more controlled by me and thus more painful. I feel like standing in a hall with some chambers in it, whenever i enter a chamber and try to get myself out i end up in the same chamber and whenevr i try to move out through last chamber i again end up in the same big hall with same number of chambers in it and same question haunts me. No matter how much i be oblivious i have to enter a chamber to finally forsake the place or i'll have to just wait..wait for my Theseus...come slay me!! redeem me!!
Every dream i enter gives me a grain of sand, i see it every time i wake up and see it multiplying..1..2..6....handfull....buried under the debris trying to escape and everytime the silence screams to write and screaming reaches a crescendo just like the weight of sand reaches a crushing point, a point where the weight is unbearable and suffocating....... during my sufferings the mother of all questions strucked to me... WHY??? the most important question ever devised and ever asked my mankind!! Question that defines humans... question that incurs the wrath of higher beings mostly, and thus i began to ponder why anyone writes??? To communicate, to share, to be felt or more importantly to be understood. To let Minotaur run away from the labyrinthine heart, to wreak havoc on the madness of men and to find a dagger for realizing immortality for oneself.
And thus today i start my journey of writing, i start my way of exhibiting madness and thus creating a sense of madness in anyone who reads it and letting everyone to find some sanity inones madness and vice versa.
Amen. Happy Mad Mumbling!!
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ReplyDeletenice start :)
ReplyDeleteI hope this mumble goes on... mine was silenced after some time. ;p
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ReplyDeleteImpactful article to start with. The complexity of thoughts and simplicity of expressions honestly justify the Title of the blog as well as mind of the Author.
ReplyDelete"A mind with labyrinth inside is mind with intellect inside"
Perhaps,Writing has many purpose which make it difficult to give one line answer to: why do we write?
But who knows there might be a one word answer inscribed on the walls of any closed Chamber of your dream.
So,don't stop. Run thru all the chambers of labyrinth.
:) :)
but i fear to run sometime because i fear trampling down many dreams scattered in the way..neways nice encouraging suggestions...thanx for the appreciations!!
ReplyDeletegood one for a first timer..frm ur write up it seems u r a deep thinker..nd good thinkers make good writers...so all the best .
ReplyDeleteu almost played god last night...poured lots of icy water.....neways thanx for ur kind words!!
ReplyDeletethe first part about the Gods, I would not say anything.u r mumbling and that means ur thoughts wud not be in order and they need not be as well. abt the 'why' question, various motivations can drive an individual to write. let us say for me it is talking to audiences about my other selves which may not be visible to them.
ReplyDeleteyes a certain amount of churning is very much necessary to start writing or it would turn out to be a report. and yes the labyrinths are pretty much needed. and yes writing is like meditation at times. and in today's fast paced world who the hell has the time for it.
and yes writing can be excrutiatingly painful at times because u talk to urself and in the process u unravel urself, u come out of delusions and enter into delusions.
so keep on attempting and u know this is wat is called as the existential crisis. u do not know the essence of things but still have to carry on working like Sisyphyus. i wud caution u but it is ur wish if u want to follow this road. be prepared for misery.
thanx MJ for ur analysis in a manner typically yours! As a matter of fact i am in search of misery the supreme one, the infliction of which makes one eternally numb, the supreme state of satisfaction. Hope this endeavour of mine liberates me...ur constant support is very much demanded!!
ReplyDelete